Scary Moments.

If you've ever been in a car accident, I'm sure you're familiar with the moments just before and immediately after the crash that seem to just float in slow motion.
The moment when all outside sound is drowned out, leaving you with the thud of your own heartbeat and racing thoughts.

I met that moment again this weekend.

On Saturday my family and I were on our way to the local PX where my husband was volunteering for Toys for Tots and I had a list of Sale shopping to do!

We were barely 3 miles from home when a woman crossed the center line and hit our vehicle head on.
We had been stopped as we were waiting to go around a larger vehicle that had stopped to refill soda machines on the side of the road. For this, I am thankful as I'm sure it greatly reduced the amount of damage.

I was reading the sales flyer, since I was on my way to shop for them, when my husband muttered a few curse words. I looked up just in time to see the woman speeding towards us, and that's when everything just seemed to slow. Her vehicle collided with ours with a loud crunching metal sound and enough force to jolt us a bit. Immediately, I could hear the boys start to cry and all I  could think about was jumping to get them. Everything seemed so slow motion and I couldn't move fast enough, though I know in reality, I probably moved faster than I ever had in my life. And my husband was right behind me. We grabbed the boys and took them to a safe spot on the sidewalk across the street. They we crying - and scared - but they we're fine. We all were. My husband went back to look at the car and check on the other driver. She too was fine other than some scrapes and bruises.

Paramedics came and checked us all out, and to be on the safe side, sent us to the ER for Ronin to be checked.

We are all okay.
Other than the headache that is filling out insurance claims...

But that moment was scary. Because for a moment I didn't know.
 And as mothers, I think we are hard-wired to always prepare for the worst.

My kids are troopers and I'm so glad they are okay. Tonight, I'll be holding them extra tight.


To feel important.

Lately, I have been having those days.Those days where nothing goes right, the kids are screaming, the house is a wreck, and my husband won't be home for another few hours.And most of the time, while I'm juggling five or six tasks at hand and trying keep my sanity and composure intact, I can't help but feel small.
And unimportant.
And that although I have many things to do, they're not important.
And then I think, if only..
If only I could finish college.
If only I had stayed in the military.
If only I could find a job that wasn't bottom of the ladder.
If only...
Because then I might feel important. And then my husband will know that I am important.
That what I do matters. That I am making a difference.
I feel that way sometimes. And sometimes I desperately say things fishing for some kind of verbal confirmation that my thoughts are wrong. That I shouldn't think if only, because what I do IS important.
My husband is most often caught in direct fire of those desperate pleas and being the ever so stubborn and quick man that he is, he often catches on to the fact that I'm looking for him to tell me something and of course then refuses. Because he's stubborn.
And I get mad, because I know he does this and damnit, can he just tell me I'm important?

But the truth is, even though there are moments where I feel small, overwhelmed and as if my daily tasks do not matter, I know that is false.

I am a Mother and a Wife. I work full time. I go to school and I have my own business. I am a military spouse. I am expected to move every few years and start all over. And I do. I am resiliant. I have my days, but they make me stronger. Because there's never been a day that I haven't made it through. With everything that has been thrown at me, no matter how overwhelmed I have become,  or how negative my thoughts have been, I have not given up. I am here, still mothering and still married. Still working, still going to school. Still moving.
I am important. & whatever I do, matters.
To someone.
My children need me.
It is important that I feed them, change them.
Nuture them, and teach them.
I make a difference to them.
Within them.
& For them.
They need me.
My husband, stubborn as he may be, needs me.
It is important that I stay strong and resiliant.
He is a Marine, and that's his job.
But I am his wife, and he needs me.
He needs me to be patient, and to listen.
To hear his fears and join in his excitement.
To say, "We can do this!"
He needs me to take care of things while he is away.
To raise our children as they should be.
I make a difference to him.
He needs me.
And I know that those are true, even on days when I feel otherwise.
Please know, that even when your child is naked, screaming, and running rampant while you attempt to cook and clean with the other on your hip...
 what you are doing is not worthless.
 You are not worthless.
 You do matter.
And what you are doing matters.
Because you are a woman.
You are a mother.
You are a wife.
And whether you're just one of those, or all three, you are important.
And whatever we do...
...big or small.
It matters.
To someone.


100 Follower Giveaway!

We finally did it!!!
Laugh with Ash now has over 100 fans following via GFC!
I'm so happy to be hosting this giveaway, because once upon a time I had no followers.
& I anxiously checked my blog every hour after every blog hop, just hoping for one.
Now, here we are. Just 3 months later, and I'm giving stuff away!!!
Thanks to my lovely Swap buddies for pitching in and offering you all even more prizes!
Check it out.
You're going to win:
300 x 300 Ad Space over at Michelle's Pixie Dust
Michelle is wicked cool. 
And she's one busy mom in Missouri!
She makes the juggle of work, motherhood, and blogging look easy!
200 x 300 Ad Space over at The Domestic Geek blog
Brittany is seriously awesome.
She loves to cook and play video games, hence The Domestic Geek!
She's from Wisconsin, and loves cheese..
and frankly I just think it's impossible for those to not belong together. 
&& You already know me! But here's what I got for ya...
30 Days of Really Really Big ad space
$15 iTunes gift card!
And to toast this awesome celebration..
From The Pampered Chef,
Drink it Up! Itty Bitty Bevs gift
Now go ahead, enter away...


Back to Work

Well, Today is the day.

After two short months, I am back to work.

Can you believe how fast that went? Ronin is 7 weeks old already!!

I have to admit,  I was starting to get used to being a stay at home mom again.
I was starting to thoroughly enjoy it.
I was just starting to get into the swing of things and be able to manage Ronin and Keegan and plan some fun activities.

And now, I'm back to work.

We took Ronin to daycare twice last week, for 2-3 hours to let him get used to it.
Today is his first full day, I'm a little worried, but I'm just up the road if anything happens.

Needless to say, I'm missing my babies already!

Look at them, How could I not miss them?

Linking up =)

P.S. A few weeks ago I won a giveaway from Nicole at Flip Flop and Combat Boots!
First giveawy I've ever won, I was so excited!!
And the prize..
$50 to Shutterfly!!

So I ordered these Christmas cards. 
Crossing my fingers that I find them in my mailbox today!

Photo Card
View the entire collection of cards.

P.S.S. Don't Forget to enter this Giveaway!
And expect another giveaway soon, because Laugh with Ash hit 100 FOLLOWERS last week!! woohoo!!


Fundraiser & Giveaway! For Victims of Hurricane Sandy

If you read my post a few weeks ago, you know that I recently became a consultant for The Pampered Chef. Well, here's what I love about them: THEY ARE SUPER GENEROUS!!
The Pampered Chef has vowed to match all funds raised through fundraising shows for Hurricane Sandy.
So I am hosting a fundraiser and giveaway to support this cause!!!
Here's how it works:
1. You log onto my Personal Pampered Chef Website, and find the American Red Cross fundraising show. (instuctions below)



2. You purchase all kinds of cool things for yourself or those extra lucky people on your Christmas list.
3. Once the show closes (On Saturday November 17th), The Pampered Chef will send a check for
20-30% of the show totals to the American Red Cross to support aide for Sandy.
(Your items will not be shipped and you will not be charged until the show closes on the 17th.)
(That means if you win the giveaway, $25 can be taken off your order.. or you can add to it!)
So what about that Giveaway??
Check out my website and find your favorite things!
You have a chance to win $25.00 to The Pampered Chef, with me!
This giveaway will end two days prior to the show closing so that you will have time to shop on the fundraiser, if you wish!
Please Share & Shop Away!
Support Sandy Relief!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Trying to Hate You.

Dear Husband,
I try really hard, you know.
And I'm not talking about keeping up with the boys and all the housework...
and school, and work, and my blog.
I try really hard with all that too, but that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm telling you I try really hard to hate you.
Because I hate that you work ten times as much as you don't.
I hate that I have to sleep alone, more than half the month... every month.
And I hate that that means I have to wake up alone, more than half the month.. every month.
Because I hate that when you're running late or get caught up at work, you don't call or text.
I worry, you know. And I hate that when I finally call you, you act like it's no big deal.
Because I hate that you don't notice the little things like my new shirt or the way I extra super deep-cleaned the house.  
Because I really do hate the way you think you know me so well. I hate when I'm excited to tell you something and you finish the sentence or story.
Because I hate your lack of planning. And I hate that even when there is a plan,  you're always late so it never happens, unless of course it's your plans.
And Because I really really hate that no matter how hard I try, no matter what angry lunatic speeches I have planned for you, the second you walk in the door I fall in love all over again and it's as if nothing happened.. unti you're gone again.
I hate it, I really do.
xo, Your Loving Wife