Marriage and my Husband

Sometimes, I get in this weird mood where I feel the need to write something but I just don't know what  something is. And then I pretend I'm doing something on the internet for an excuse to touch the keyboard as if my fingers will get some sort of magical inspiration from. 

They don't. 

...Ever. 

But sometimes while I sit here pretending, my mind wanders to just the right place. And tonight, it keeps taking me back to my husband. Or to him, rather. 

Not to be all mush-mush but I love him so stinkin' much. 

There are people that are probably under the impression that my marriage is a fairy tale. It's been stated. And while I am super happy and love is overwhelming and very much mutual in our home, my marriage is no fairytale. 

I'm here to tell you that marriage is HARD work!

 It means biting my tongue way more than I want because I've learned to choose my battles wisely. 

It means sacrificing many things near and dear to me because we operate as a team now. 

It means loving NO MATTER WHAT. 

Sometimes my husband makes me incredibly mad! (like claiming that he doesn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day - and apparently anniversaries - only after we got married).

 There are days that I get so worked up just thinking about how mad he makes me. Seriously, I get furious sometimes - but I've realized that I almost always get furious when he's not around. He could be at work, outside, in another room or most likely, sleeping. And I just get so mad thinking about whatever the latest and greatest is that he's done or said.. or the lack of either.

 But I love him. And no matter how mad I get, whenever he comes back or wakes up the anger usually fades. If it doesn't, please believe that I just go ahead and speak my mind. Though I'm not really as intimidating as my overly-confident statements make me sound. But guess what?! My husband loves me too, and so when I speak my mind.. he listens. He doesn't always agree and the problem is never fixed over night, but we don't stay angry. We work on things.. Together. We talk.. A lot. and if things aren't right.. we keep trying. Because we made a promise.. until death do us part. And that's one promise I intend to keep.

P.S. I confessed my anger about him not believing in celebration on V-day, because well I believe in small gestures - I got "I'm sorry" flowers the next day. Though that was NOT the point I was making... A simple "good morning, I love you" text or hand made card would have sufficed, but I do love my flowers =)

And for those of you who cry (like my husband) that Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday and love should be shown every day, you don't need an excuse to do so yada yada yada... You're right, it probably is. But ask yourself this, when is the last time you brought your significant other flowers for no reason. Or made him/her a card just to say I love you.  Or did any number of the things you did while you were dating. You get married, you have kids,  you become more parent than you are a couple. Don't think of it as an excuse, think of it as a reminder. That you need that time too.  And if you really do do those things on the daily and aren't just using that as an excuse to get out of celebrating, then I bet you already had a bangin' dinner planned anyway =) 

For Tiffany.

As I sat in church this week, I listened to our Pastor talk about loving one another. 

In fact, Jesus commanded that we love one another.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

John 13:34

Meet Tiffany.

My best friend.

The only person who has ever loved me as Jesus did.
Who has never judged me in all my mistakes.

We met in Kindergarten. And on her first day of school, we had a tornado drill. 

She cried & I turned around and said "Don't worry, it's just a drill!" 

And we've been friends ever since. 

But I haven't always been a good friend. In fact, there were times when I was a pretty awful and absent friend. And through it all, she's been there. waiting for me to get my act together. Shaking her head, telling me I'm wrong, and being stupid. And loving me anyway. And showing me that God loves me. 

See, I never knew God. Until I got to high school, and even then I didn't really know him. 

I didn't know I needed him or wanted him, or that he could make my life so much better.

So I used other things to fill the voids. In high school it was all about fitting in.

 Looking cool. Keeping up. 

Alcohol. Sex. Drugs. Boys. Mischief. 

I remember sitting in an assembly once and I turned to a friend on one side of me and said, "watch this".. then every time Tiffany would start to talk I made a loud noise or said shut-up or be quiet and pretended to be really mad at her. She got upset and we laughed about it.  

I used to say some pretty awful things, because I thought I was being honest and that's the best policy right? No... you're opinion is never honesty or truth, it's your opinion and more often than not, it needs to be kept to yourself. Especially if you're a teenage girl in high school.

I can't believe I'm owning up to these because it makes me so sick to think about. 

I was really a mean girl. 

And it's funny because I'm not sure many people would remember that about me except my close friends... because they're the ones I hurt the most. 

Have you been there?

 I'd like to say I wish I hadn't but now I know how much of me has grown from there. But, I'm not at all proud and sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach.

I was an awful person. An awful friend.

To many good people, and good friends.

But mostly to Tiffany. 

Because it was easy. 

Because she loved me like Jesus loved me. Because no matter what I did or said, she was still a good friend to me. She never walked away, she never left me out to dry. She gave me a million and one second chances to be a better friend.

So, to you Tiffany, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for giving me a million and one second chances.

Thank you for giving me shelter when I had no where to go (literally!).

Thank you for being there for me whenever I have fallen.

Thank you for reminding me of lighter things when all I could see was darkness.

Thank you for being there when I found Jesus.

Thank you for reminding me that he is always there whenever I have forgotten. 

Thank you for putting up with me.
Thank you for all the nights and days like these filled with so many laughs and tears.

Thank you for being the most caring, loving, self-less, & giving person I have ever known. 

Please don't ever forget how amazing you are and know that you have impacted my life a thousand times over. 

I love you.

How I Met Your Father.

My husband re-enlisted in the United Sates Marine Corps this week, and I could not be more proud. I am so proud to be standing beside such a dedicated, loyal, caring and well respected man. 

He's something = )

The truth is though, I can't believe we're already here.

At this point. 

Married, two kids, re-enlisting, PCSing soon.

Seriously.. when did that happen?

Seems like just yesterday we were strangers falling in love. 

Okay, so maybe this isn't exactly how I'll explain it to my kids one day, 

but here's how it all began....

I was 18, just twelve days after my high school graduation when I left my own military training.  I was off to Basic Training for the United States Air Force in Texas. I signed my life away the summer before my senior year. Turns out it wouldn't be my whole life =) I was scared, nervous, excited. 

I survived. and Honestly I would love to share stories from my boot camp experience but so much of it is blurred by the sleepness nights and endless marching that I don't remember much. I have a few short memories, but for the most part, those weeks remain a fuzzy haze. 

(P.S. I can't tell you how many of my friends probably don't even know that. But, here's proof.)

Tom and I at Tech School

After Basic, I moved right across the street.. literally - for more training.  I was lucky in that a few friends of mine from basic would be in my tech school. Tom, was one of the first people I met when I got to Basic on that first night and she quickly became my wingman in tech school. 

She's a character. Borderline crazy, but awesome nonetheless. We did everything together. 

(I should probably dedicate a few posts to some of those crazy stories later.) Anyway, like normal 18year old girls that just spent the last two months with 60 other woman 24/7... we we're a little boy crazy. Just a little. 

Tom's brother was a Marine at the time, and I can't tell you how many times she told me that we needed to find the Marines on base. Though it was an Air Force base, she swore there had to be some somewhere. I wasn't so sure.. and how do you find them anyway?

Turns out, they just find you. And you really can't miss them. It's the hair... or something?

We went bowling one night and a few guys ended up taking the lane next to us. (My husband has since told me that they actually requested that lane in hopes of getting lucky with the girls occupying the other half. Sly move.. sly move.) I don't remember my husband much from that night, other than him telling me he was from Michigan - being from Ohio, I obviously got excited about someone being close to home, but I had never heard of his town so that quickly faded. 

Tom ended up hitting it off with one of the guys, got his number, made plans, started talking... you know the drill. I was less enthused. But they made plans for a weekend and she was trying to get me to go with her (we couldn't go anywhere alone). She was meeting up with this guy and his roommate downtown for a date and since the other guy "thought I was cute" I needed to go.. she says. 

What other guy? (There were a few the night we went bowling) 

.. The one from Michigan... 

No thank you, he's too short. (Apparently the only other thing I remembered about him from that night),  and so she told him.

He said I should go %&#(*% myself.  Sweet, isn't he?

But Tom couldn't find anyone to go and I couldn't let her go alone, so we went. 

And we split almost immediately after meeting up with the guys. 

My night was slightly awkward. 

The only picture I have of us in Texas:

it's awkward, I know... but it sums up so much.

Until he took me on a boat ride and used his sweet talk.

Don't let my husband fool you now with his harsh words and bad ass attitude... he's a total softy.

Always has been. 

And the rest is really history. We hit it off and kept talking, seeing each other every weekend until he left to his new duty station in CA. Granted, that was only a month later. I stayed in Texas for two more months after that and went back to Ohio where I was a part of a National Guard unit and started college.  

Lucky for us, our home towns are only about 2 hours apart. So between me going to CA to see him and him coming home on leave, we were able to see each other about every 2-3 months. Now that we're married and he's stuck with me forever it's REALLY great that our hometowns are so close.. I could not imagine trying to visit family if we were from further states.

First visit...

It worked. And after I got out of the military (the only thing keeping me in Ohio), I got a job at a summer camp and moved to California. 

My husband proposed that summer, we got married a month later and in just over a year we moved to Japan and had our first baby. How crazy. And now we have two. 

Just nuts.

It still blows my mind to think about the way that everything in my life has aligned so perfectly to bring me to here and now. And how completely happy I am with that, even though I know 6 years I would have called myself insane. 

It's the little things.

A friend of mine invited us last minute to go see Christmas lights at the local zoo last night. My husband hadn't made it home yet, but I REALLLY wanted to go. I love Christmas lights and went to see lights at the Toledo Zoo every year when I was growing up. 

And it was the last night!! 

My husband got home shortly after and decided he didn't want to go since he had just got home and had to work early today. But he suggested that I take Keegan. So I obviously did! It was awesome. They had a snow area with "real" snow and a snow blower (the kind that makes snow).  ...Keegan is such a tropics baby, he does not like snow... How will I ever take him to Ohio in the winter?!

Anyway, the real awesome part was when I came home. I have been feeling pretty crappy and extremely tired lately,  so my house has taken the backseat. 

We got home around 9:45 and my house was clean!!! 

The dishes were even done! 

If you knew my husband, you'd know what a rarity this is. He hates doing the dishes.

 But they were done. 

And so was the laundry. 

And the carpets were vacuumed. 

One happy lady right here! 

;)

via

But it gets better. 

Ronin woke up around 1am and as I fought my way out of bed, my husband beat me to it. He woke up to change him and put him back to sleep. I was so tired, you have no idea how much those 10 minutes of extra sleep meant.

I'm so lucky to have a husband who knows exactly when I need him most and knows just how I need him. I woke up this morning feeling so much better! 

I love my husband and all the little things he does for me.

=)

Trying to Hate You.

 

 

 

Dear Husband,

 

I try really hard, you know.

And I'm not talking about keeping up with the boys and all the housework...

and school, and work, and my blog.

I try really hard with all that too, but that's not what I'm talking about.

 

I'm telling you I try really hard to hate you.

 

Because I hate that you work ten times as much as you don't.

I hate that I have to sleep alone, more than half the month... every month.

And I hate that that means I have to wake up alone, more than half the month.. every month.

 

Because I hate that when you're running late or get caught up at work, you don't call or text.

I worry, you know. And I hate that when I finally call you, you act like it's no big deal.

 

Because I hate that you don't notice the little things like my new shirt or the way I extra super deep-cleaned the house.  

 

Because I really do hate the way you think you know me so well. I hate when I'm excited to tell you something and you finish the sentence or story.

 

Because I hate your lack of planning. And I hate that even when there is a plan,  you're always late so it never happens, unless of course it's your plans.

 

And Because I really really hate that no matter how hard I try, no matter what angry lunatic speeches I have planned for you, the second you walk in the door I fall in love all over again and it's as if nothing happened.. unti you're gone again.

 

I hate it, I really do.

 

xo, Your Loving Wife

 

 

 

 



 

 

"Greece"

 

This “trip” is part of our adventure around the world. If you would like to see how it all started or where else we’ve been, start here.

 

Okay, so when I was planning this trip arond the world, it was much more organized. I guess I forgot to factor in the possibilty of typhoons and babies (although I knew he was coming). This dadte was scheduled for September, and then postponed due to a typhoon and then again for Ronin's birth.

It has also taken me a couple weeks to finally write about it.

 

Our trip to Greece consisted of a night in with a two week old baby and a two year old. It wasn't any sort of thrill seeker, but it was certainly some quality time that was much needed.

 

We started the night with some of these Grilled Chicken Pita Sandwiches.

A recipe I found on Pinterest.

 

 

I followed the recipe to a T and as you can see mine do not look nearly as delicious as the professional photo. They didn't taste very delicious either, but that's okay.. at least they were "Greek!"

 

 

We also indulged in some Stacy's pita chips, because pita chips are Greek right??

 

 

And then we topped it off with some delicious Greek yogurt. By far my favorite part of the night.

 

P.S. This brand of GY is delicious.. the only brand I like =)

And lastly, We all snuggled on the couch and popped in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which neither of us had seen before. Good Movie!

 



 

 

So yes, Greece was a little lame, but I had fun hanging out with my little family and Mikael had fun laughing atmy lame attempts to create a Greek theme. All in all, it was worth it.

 

October's date is planned for this weekend and takes us to Germany. So cross your fingers that it actually happens and stay tuned for all the details!

 

 



 

 

 

Labor: What they won't tell you!

Okay, let’s talk about GIVING BIRTH!

 Mostly about what no one told me.

Giving birth is a beautiful thing. It really is, no matter how cliché it sounds. I know, I’ve done it TWICE! And both times I was in awe.

To know that I helped create life.

My body was a vessel for another being for almost 10 months. How cool is that?

How lucky am I? Because not everyone is as blessed as I am to be able to even carry a child.

It’s just beautiful.

Creating life, that is.

…Because let’s face it, the whole labor thing is one ugly, wretched, awful, excuse my language, bitch.

Someone has probably told you not to worry, because although it hurts (Very much an understatement) and it can sometimes last a long time (also an understatement), once you have your baby in your arms, you’ll forget all about the labor.

This might be true, but I’d like to put a very large sum of money on the fact that my husband will NEVER let me forget what happened during labor. I’m sure he’s also not going to let a lot of other people forget what happened during my labor, so I’ll just beat him to the punch and fill you all in.

I expected lots of things to happen while in labor.

 I expected to be in pain, and I was, oh yes I was!

I expected to be all wet and leaky with amniotic fluid, and I was.

I expected to feel a little sick and possibly throw up, and I did.

I expected to be moody and tired, and I was.

I did NOT expect to have an uncontrollable bowel movement, but oh yea.. I did that too!

Yep, you read that right. I just could not stop pooping!

I had been in active labor for about 6 hours when I started to feel my contractions again (for the first time after getting the epidural... maybe 4 hours prior.) They were a painful but not as excruciating as before I got the epidural. Every time I had a contraction, I felt the urge to poop. Normal right? I mean at least I thought so. I actually got excited because I had the same sensation just moments before I was told I was ready to push with Keegan. So I thought for sure I was having a baby in the next ten minutes!

I let Mikael know and told him just to wait a few more contractions to see if it keeps up before he got the nurse.  

There was another contraction… and there was the urge to poop. Okay, baby soon?

And then again. And again.

And then… what the heck was that?!

I can only imagine the look on my face when I told my husband I thought I pooped my pants!

He laughed at me and let me know that wasn’t possible since I wasn’t wearing pants. Thanks smartass…

...But I think I just pooped myself! I made him hand me a box of tissues and find the baby wipes I saw the nurse use earlier.

Sure enough that just happened to me.

The contractions that had me gripping the bedrail not even 5 minutes before had suddenly been masked by an overwhelming amount of embarrassment.

And every time I had a contraction, more and more just kept coming out… seriously? My husband oh so graciously donned blue surgical gloves and held open the trash bag for my wipes and tissues. I know, I scored a real keeper didn’t I?

That has to be true love.

...literally

After about 15 minutes of this, the nurse came in and I let her know I was having an uncontrollable bowel movement, to which she responded by asking me if I wanted her to “clean me up”…

What? ... No!

I’m embarrassed enough that it’s even happening and you think I want you to wipe my ass… Please let me keep a little bit of my dignity… She swore this happens all the time and she didn’t mind because it was her job…

Yea, I just kept “cleaning” myself as it came... I was so embarrassed that I didn’t even notice my contractions anymore.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide!

The nurse did check my cervix though, since an involuntary bowel movement can be a sign that the baby is bearing down and ready to come out.

And he was.

So she called in the doctor and rest of the team. In less than 20 minutes and 10 pushes, Ronin was born.

And that was beautiful.

I was embarrassed and swore I would never tell a soul, but it happened and that’s real. And maybe just a little funny… now. I know I’m not alone and I won’t be ashamed. I might not forget about this labor, but at least I’ll laugh about it. Hope you do too.

Off to "Italy"

This “trip” is part of our adventure around the world. If you would like to see how it all started or where else we’ve been, start here.

 

 

Italy just screams romance to me. So naturally, as I was planning our trip around the world, Italy came to mind first. It just so happened that a local wine festival was scheduled for the same month. That made it a no brainer!

This trip was originally planned for August, however due to a typhoon sweeping by the island, the festival was postponed two weeks. Other than having to swap our Friday night tickets for tickets on Saturday night, everything went as planned.

 

 

 

Okinapa.. where to begin?

We dropped K off with the sitter and headed to the festival around one. As soon as we arrived, we were handed wine glasses and a list of all the wines available (there were hundreds!! From all around the world). We didn’t waist anytime and headed to the first table of wines. I’ll admit, Mikael and I went to the same festival last year, so we already knew what our favorite tables would be, but Mikael was a good sport and still tried many other wines on the list. I, of course, just pointed to the wines I was curious about and had the waiter fill Mikael’s glass. I think he was having trouble drinking for two!

I drank for two, too!! Water that is. They even had sparkling water so I at least got to feel a little bit cool!

 

We ate intermittently throughout the event. Mostly because there is a baby cramping my stomach and Mikael just needed to balance the wine from time to time! The food was absolutely delicious! I meant to take pictures of the spread or at least my plates full (yes, there were many), but I was so engrossed in just eating everything that I forgot. We ate plenty of pastas, cheeses, and even crepes for desert. The also served a bit of local fare: Yakitori, Gyoza, and a few other seafood dishes, which are always Mikael’s favorite. Needless to say, we were stuffed by the time we left.

After tasting countless wines, Mikael and I had several stars next to our favorites and headed to the sale room. The room for purchasing is full of all the sampled wines and organized by table and number, which made it very easy to find what we were looking for. We lucked out, having only two of our “star” wines be sold out. It’s not uncommon for many wines to sell out on Friday night of the event. We do, after all, live on a very little island in the pacific with a very small wine selection… and let’s face it, people just need their wine!!

 

 

 

We filled our basket and had them all boxed an ready to go. We made out with 12 bottles (and got a discount for buying a cases worth) and spent a little over $100.00, which I thought was great.  The really great part is that you get the case discount even if all 12 wines are different!

 

We are now stocked on wine for a while and I certainly can’t wait to enjoy a glass after this baby arrives. I’m sure I’ll need it by then.

 

Our trip to Italy wasn’t as Italian as it could have been, but it was a much needed and well enjoyed date for both of us.

 

 I have to add that I have the greatest babysitter in the world and am so lucky to have such great support so far from home. It’s nice to be able to go out and not be so worrisome about my baby!

September will take us to GREECE, so make sure you stay tuned for our next adventure!

 

 

 

 

The Perfect [anniversary] Gift.

Seriously, why is it so hard to come up with a gift idea for a man.  I could think of a million things my husband could do for me for our anniversary, yet it took me weeks of searching to figure out what I was going to give him! All I knew was that it had to be perfect.  And Cheap. I may be a working woman, but I am definitely on a budget.

I thought for a while about things my husband may have mentioned or things that he enjoyed and I realized that it had been so long since we had spent time together NOT being parents that I wasn’t really sure what he liked anymore.  So, we obviously needed some alone time.  So for the first part of my gift, I made reservations for Okuma, a local military “resort” here on Okinawa.  I knew we’d have to take little man, because there’s no way I’m ready to leave him with anyone overnight yet, but at least it would get us out of the house for the weekend and out of the everyday routines we’ve fallen into.

Keeping up with the latest craze, I scoured Pinterest for gift ideas. I stumbled onto The Dating Divas and almost immediately found what I was looking for. A Passport to Love.  A homemade gift that required plenty of thought and love and would guarantee a date with my husband at least once a month for a year… Sold.  And it was cheap! For now at least. I made a list, using some of the ideas listed on the website, of all the places we’d go “visit” in a year. Mikael has only opened his August adventure so far, so I can’t spill the beans yet, but I will keep you posted.

Anyway I printed the passport, put it all together and added Mikael's information.

I also printed the airline tickets to all the places we were going. And then I decided to add a few tidbits about each country. I printed each country’s flag, a map, and a picture that I thought reminded me most of that country. (This particular month also included tickets to the wine festival!!! See the Italian theme there? )

I also bought a pack of blank thank you cards ( the only purchase I made for this gift) and then I made a card for each date/country. On top I wrote the destination and on the bottom half, I wanted to remind my husband that no matter where we go in the world (which could be anywhere with the military!) I will always love him. I then wrote 12 different reasons why in each card, so he could be reminded each month.

I put them all together, bundled them up and added a not and voila!

He loved it!  We’re going to “Italy” first, so stay tuned and you can travel the world with us! =)

 

Our Trips

 

Italy
Greece