A Cookie Making Flashback.

So the other day, I was making these delicious bad boys:

...while this adorable bad boy ordered me around the kitchen,

and the other monster napped.

 I used one of these "old-fashioned" things:

All the while, I day-dreamt about this baby! 

And as I was drooling over daydreaming about the KitchenAid, I started reminiscing.

I remember countless sleepovers with my girlfriends which ALWAYS involved a batch or two of snickerdoodle cookies. The most delicious cookie ever.
(Here is a great recipe)

We always made them from complete scratch (still my favorite way to make cookies). No mixes, no pre-made dough. And we would add the ingredients one by one and takes turns mixing... WITH A FORK!! I remember my arms getting tired from the dough being so hard to mix sometimes. But man, I wanted to mix that cookie dough. We would argue about who got to mix the dough next and you bet your bottom dollar I pitched a fit if one of my girlfriends got to mix it longer (Hey, we play even steven around here!) Those were the days! and probably the moments that instilled in me a love for baking.

So, I'm on a mission to make sure my kids have moments like those. I want them to make cookies like I did and fight over who gets to mix the dough next and lick cookie dough from the forks that just made their arms feel like jello. I want them to be covered in flour after it flies in their face as they try to mix. I want them to enjoy bites of cookie dough that THEY made! I want them to have those memories.

That being said, I still want that kitchen aid - So, if you see my husband, let him know =)

Scary Moments.

If you've ever been in a car accident, I'm sure you're familiar with the moments just before and immediately after the crash that seem to just float in slow motion.

The moment when all outside sound is drowned out, leaving you with the thud of your own heartbeat and racing thoughts.

I met that moment again this weekend.

On Saturday my family and I were on our way to the local PX where my husband was volunteering for Toys for Tots and I had a list of Sale shopping to do!

We were barely 3 miles from home when a woman crossed the center line and hit our vehicle head on.

We had been stopped as we were waiting to go around a larger vehicle that had stopped to refill soda machines on the side of the road. For this, I am thankful as I'm sure it greatly reduced the amount of damage.

I was reading the sales flyer, since I was on my way to shop for them, when my husband muttered a few curse words. I looked up just in time to see the woman speeding towards us, and that's when everything just seemed to slow. Her vehicle collided with ours with a loud crunching metal sound and enough force to jolt us a bit. Immediately, I could hear the boys start to cry and all I  could think about was jumping to get them. Everything seemed so slow motion and I couldn't move fast enough, though I know in reality, I probably moved faster than I ever had in my life. And my husband was right behind me. We grabbed the boys and took them to a safe spot on the sidewalk across the street. They we crying - and scared - but they we're fine. We all were. My husband went back to look at the car and check on the other driver. She too was fine other than some scrapes and bruises.

Paramedics came and checked us all out, and to be on the safe side, sent us to the ER for Ronin to be checked.

We are all okay.

Other than the headache that is filling out insurance claims...

But that moment was scary. Because for a moment I didn't know.

 And as mothers, I think we are hard-wired to always prepare for the worst.

My kids are troopers and I'm so glad they are okay. Tonight, I'll be holding them extra tight.

To feel important.

 

 

Lately, I have been having those days.Those days where nothing goes right, the kids are screaming, the house is a wreck, and my husband won't be home for another few hours.And most of the time, while I'm juggling five or six tasks at hand and trying keep my sanity and composure intact, I can't help but feel small.

 

And unimportant.

And that although I have many things to do, they're not important.

 

And then I think, if only..

 

If only I could finish college.

If only I had stayed in the military.

If only I could find a job that wasn't bottom of the ladder.

If only...

 

Because then I might feel important. And then my husband will know that I am important.

That what I do matters. That I am making a difference.

 

I feel that way sometimes. And sometimes I desperately say things fishing for some kind of verbal confirmation that my thoughts are wrong. That I shouldn't think if only, because what I do IS important.

 

My husband is most often caught in direct fire of those desperate pleas and being the ever so stubborn and quick man that he is, he often catches on to the fact that I'm looking for him to tell me something and of course then refuses. Because he's stubborn.

 

And I get mad, because I know he does this and damnit, can he just tell me I'm important?

But the truth is, even though there are moments where I feel small, overwhelmed and as if my daily tasks do not matter, I know that is false.

I am a Mother and a Wife. I work full time. I go to school and I have my own business. I am a military spouse. I am expected to move every few years and start all over. And I do. I am resiliant. I have my days, but they make me stronger. Because there's never been a day that I haven't made it through. With everything that has been thrown at me, no matter how overwhelmed I have become,  or how negative my thoughts have been, I have not given up. I am here, still mothering and still married. Still working, still going to school. Still moving.

 

I am important. & whatever I do, matters.

To someone.

 

My children need me.

It is important that I feed them, change them.

Nuture them, and teach them.

I make a difference to them.

Within them.

& For them.

They need me.

 

My husband, stubborn as he may be, needs me.

It is important that I stay strong and resiliant.

He is a Marine, and that's his job.

But I am his wife, and he needs me.

He needs me to be patient, and to listen.

To hear his fears and join in his excitement.

To say, "We can do this!"

He needs me to take care of things while he is away.

To raise our children as they should be.

I make a difference to him.

He needs me.

 

And I know that those are true, even on days when I feel otherwise.

 

 

 

Please know, that even when your child is naked, screaming, and running rampant while you attempt to cook and clean with the other on your hip...

 what you are doing is not worthless.

 You are not worthless.

 You do matter.

And what you are doing matters.

 

Because you are a woman.

You are a mother.

You are a wife.

And whether you're just one of those, or all three, you are important.

And whatever we do...

...big or small.

It matters.

To someone.

 

 

 

One Tired Momma.

I haven't been able to post much lately.

But here's why..

 These two have been taking ALL of my time and SLEEP!

I am one tired Momma.

 I wouldn't change it for anything!

& I am so thankful to be able to stay home for 2 whole months with them

Big Brother Kisses =)

.

Back to work in two weeks, uugh.

Ninja Mommy

 

 

Naps are pretty hard to come by these days, but so is time for myself.

I'm still not sure which one is more important.

 

 

But yesterday, something pretty amazing happened.

I got both! Yes, I got to sleep and have a little time to myself.

 

 

See, I'm starting to get really good at this nap-time routine where both boys fall asleep at the same time.. or around the same time any.

 

I know that Ronin needs to eat at 11, so if I give Keegan lunch around 1045, he can eat and finish whi.e I'm feeding R. When he's done, he gets his elmo book... it has to be elmo. Then I'll finish feeding R and burp him. As I'm burping him I'll just make the ShhhShhh sound and it makes them both sleepy. It puts them to sleep in a matter of ten minutes (usually way less for Ronin, but he's a professional sleeper these days!)

 

 

So there I was, both my boys asleep. I ran a list of things I needed to do through my head... clean the house, work on my blog, some homework, write-up a grocery list, take a nap.

 

Yep, nothing important.. other than take a nap!

 

So I dozed off on the couch with my two handsome boys snuggled up. I figured Keegan would just wake me up eventually. But he didn't!!

 

I woke up about an hour and a half late, amazed that I wasn't falling over from exhaustion.. because that's usually how I wake up. Yes, I know it's backwards. And the boys were still asleep. I knew I had at least a half hour until Ronin would need to eat, and if Iwas lucky, Keegan would sleep just as long.

 

There was only one problem. Ronin was cemented to my chest where he had fallen asleep while I burped him and Keegan was lead heavy on my leg.

 

 

Slowly but surely I crept my way out from underneath them making sure to replace my leg with a pillow for Keegan and gently putting Ronin down in his bassinette.

(Cue Ninja Mommy Music)

 

I snuck down the hall and into the other room easing the dorr open so it didn't creak. I made it!

 

I couldn't believe it. And they slept for another 30 minutes!

 

I don't count on that happening too often, but I sure won't complain that it did!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Labor: What they won't tell you!

Okay, let’s talk about GIVING BIRTH!

 Mostly about what no one told me.

Giving birth is a beautiful thing. It really is, no matter how cliché it sounds. I know, I’ve done it TWICE! And both times I was in awe.

To know that I helped create life.

My body was a vessel for another being for almost 10 months. How cool is that?

How lucky am I? Because not everyone is as blessed as I am to be able to even carry a child.

It’s just beautiful.

Creating life, that is.

…Because let’s face it, the whole labor thing is one ugly, wretched, awful, excuse my language, bitch.

Someone has probably told you not to worry, because although it hurts (Very much an understatement) and it can sometimes last a long time (also an understatement), once you have your baby in your arms, you’ll forget all about the labor.

This might be true, but I’d like to put a very large sum of money on the fact that my husband will NEVER let me forget what happened during labor. I’m sure he’s also not going to let a lot of other people forget what happened during my labor, so I’ll just beat him to the punch and fill you all in.

I expected lots of things to happen while in labor.

 I expected to be in pain, and I was, oh yes I was!

I expected to be all wet and leaky with amniotic fluid, and I was.

I expected to feel a little sick and possibly throw up, and I did.

I expected to be moody and tired, and I was.

I did NOT expect to have an uncontrollable bowel movement, but oh yea.. I did that too!

Yep, you read that right. I just could not stop pooping!

I had been in active labor for about 6 hours when I started to feel my contractions again (for the first time after getting the epidural... maybe 4 hours prior.) They were a painful but not as excruciating as before I got the epidural. Every time I had a contraction, I felt the urge to poop. Normal right? I mean at least I thought so. I actually got excited because I had the same sensation just moments before I was told I was ready to push with Keegan. So I thought for sure I was having a baby in the next ten minutes!

I let Mikael know and told him just to wait a few more contractions to see if it keeps up before he got the nurse.  

There was another contraction… and there was the urge to poop. Okay, baby soon?

And then again. And again.

And then… what the heck was that?!

I can only imagine the look on my face when I told my husband I thought I pooped my pants!

He laughed at me and let me know that wasn’t possible since I wasn’t wearing pants. Thanks smartass…

...But I think I just pooped myself! I made him hand me a box of tissues and find the baby wipes I saw the nurse use earlier.

Sure enough that just happened to me.

The contractions that had me gripping the bedrail not even 5 minutes before had suddenly been masked by an overwhelming amount of embarrassment.

And every time I had a contraction, more and more just kept coming out… seriously? My husband oh so graciously donned blue surgical gloves and held open the trash bag for my wipes and tissues. I know, I scored a real keeper didn’t I?

That has to be true love.

...literally

After about 15 minutes of this, the nurse came in and I let her know I was having an uncontrollable bowel movement, to which she responded by asking me if I wanted her to “clean me up”…

What? ... No!

I’m embarrassed enough that it’s even happening and you think I want you to wipe my ass… Please let me keep a little bit of my dignity… She swore this happens all the time and she didn’t mind because it was her job…

Yea, I just kept “cleaning” myself as it came... I was so embarrassed that I didn’t even notice my contractions anymore.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide!

The nurse did check my cervix though, since an involuntary bowel movement can be a sign that the baby is bearing down and ready to come out.

And he was.

So she called in the doctor and rest of the team. In less than 20 minutes and 10 pushes, Ronin was born.

And that was beautiful.

I was embarrassed and swore I would never tell a soul, but it happened and that’s real. And maybe just a little funny… now. I know I’m not alone and I won’t be ashamed. I might not forget about this labor, but at least I’ll laugh about it. Hope you do too.

Manic Monday

Yesterday I really wanted to get a post in, so I could link up with all my Monday mommy friends.. but that didn't happen. Yesterday was more than a little crazy, so I'm linking up today, a day late, to tell you all about my manic Monday!

 

 

If you had seen me yesterday, this is probably what I would have looked like.

 

After having two weeks off to welcome baby Ronin, my husband had to go back to work yesterday. Start bad day there. I've been dreading the moment. It wouldn't be so bad if my husband worked a normal 9-5, and could still help with the morning feeding, dinner time, or the bedtime routines, but my husband works 24 hour shifts. Though 24 usually turns into 28+. On most days he'll head to work around 4 or 5AM for a morning PT session and if I'm lucky, he'll be home around 11AM the next day.

 

This was no big deal when it was just Keegan and I, but now I have two babies. And yesterday was my first day alone with both of them. It was rough! Thankfully my husband loves football.. see since were overseas, we have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to watch some of our favorite football games. Okay, well I'm not that lunatic, but my husband is.. and he woke up at 2am to watch a game, so that meant he also fed the baby and more sleep for me! Luckily my husband also didn't have PT since it was a holiday (Happy Late Columbus Day!), so he was still home and already awake when Keegan woke up at 6. I slept 'til 7am!

 

This seems like it is going to be a good day doesn't it?

Yea..no.

 

My husband left shortly after I woke up and I started getting dressed and ready to go for a morning walk. Keegan was in the living room screaming about elmo (the kid has a serious obsession) and Ronin was still sleeping. After I finished getting ready I started to make Ronin's bottle to feed him before we left. I walk into my living room to find Keegan naked sitting with ALL of his toys scattered on the floor. Since when does my kid know how to take his shirt off? By this time Ronin was screaming, obviously hungry, and I rushed to get Keegan dressed before he had an accident all over the floor. I started to feed Ronin and by the time I was done, Keegan was naked agan and playing with his now wet diaper, gross!

 

And it wasn't even 9AM yet.

 

The plan was to go for a walk and then head to the park so Keegan cold burn some energy. Good plan.. except he fell asleep before we made it to the park. I went home with plans to shower and eat before they both woke up, but as soon as we made it inside Ronin woke up. Okay, no big deal, shower and food on hold..

 

After about an hour, Ronin went back to sleep.. shower.. food... my stomach was seriously growling at this point. I turn the shower on and as I'm getting a towel and picking out my clothes, guess who wakes up.. Keegan! Okay, shower on hold again. He's hungry so we both go find something to eat. At least with Keegan I can get a little more done since he's more self-sufficent. After we finish eating I pop a movie in for him so I can shower and I leave the bathroom door open so I can still see him.

 

As I'm showering, Keegan is running in and out of the bathroom and then decides to unravel the entire roll of toilet paper, despite me telling him no.. he listens so well. I'm already a little frustrated and tired so I decide to just forget about it and finish showering. Then I hear Ronin screaming... seriously, I think he's going to be a daddy's boy, he has never cried/screamed more than he did yesterday. He must've known daddy was gone.

 

By this time, it was almost 11AM and my house was already a disaster, so I loaded up the boys and we headed out. We had a few stops on the list.. the library to return books, the store for dinner veggies, and the park so Keegan could wear himself out.

 

I planned to only go to the library to return the books, but once there, Keegan drug me to the childrens' section. Like always, he went a little crazy grabbing all sorts of books and shouting about elmo while I frantically followed picking up everything he threw down.. mind you I did this with a 2-week old baby in tow. Needless to say I didn't want to stay long nd trying to get Keegan to leave was a nightmare. He threw a fit and screamed a bit, but we made back to the car in one piece. 

 

The store was an easy trip and we were able to run in and out for the things we needed, so we headed to the park. It was a good day for the park and thankfully I chose one that was fenced in so I didn't have to worry aout Keegan running too far or into the road. It was time for Ronin eat and Iwas a little worried Keegan wouldn't run around and play if I was sitting and feeding Ronin, but he did great! He ran and played for about an hour.

 

We headed home to make dinner to take to daddy at work. Keegan was fairly well-behaved while I made dinner and Ronin slept.. but Keegan did a very thorough job of terrorizing the house. We took dinner and made it home around 7PM.

 

Keegan was still wide awake and rambunctious as ever when we got home so I wanted to go for a walk so he could burn some energy and make it to bed on time.  I also wanted to stop by the store for coffee (There's no way I was making it through the night without it) and maybe rent a movie, depending on which ones they had available. As we were leaving, Ronin started to have a screaming fit, and couldn't be calmed down. Mind you, we're already outside and Keegan is running up and down the stairs. Trying to get him to come inside so I could calm Ronin down was a serious challenge.

 

It took me about another half hour to get Ronin to calm down and ready to go again. Once he was ready, Keegan had again stripped naked...he was not ready.

 

 That movie was starting to sound really wonderful, and I needed the coffee if I was going to make it to Ronin's 11PM feeding.

 

So I got Keegan dressed AGAIN, and we headed out. Keegan was being just a little defiant and refused to hold my hand as we crossed the street, but we made it and the store was finally in sight.

 

Is the open sign on? It looks like the lights are  on? Are they on?

Nope, No they sure aren't. It's a holiday isn't it?

 

And the store was closed.. No movie, No coffee.

 

Keegan stayed awake until 10PM for no apparent reason, and I struggled to keep my eyes open.

I'm not sure what time I fell asleep, but I certainly did not make it to the 11 PM feeding. I woke up just before midnight as my phone went off. Both Keegan and Ronin were sleeping and I debated about keeping it that way. But I knew if I didn't feed Ronin then, it wouldn't be long before he woke up. So I woke him up, changed and fed him and he went right back to sleep. I did that again at 2 and 5. And Keegan was up at 6, like clockwork.

 

Okay so maybe it wasn't that bad of day, I am just not wuite adjusted yet.

I am definitely one tired girl today and I made a point to get my coffee first thing.

 

Re-adjusting the the stay at home mom thing will take some time.. and just as soon as I get it figured out, I'll be heading back to work... but I'm going to work on it and enjoy the time I get to spend with my boys, even if they do wear me out and drive me a little nuts! 

 

 

 

How was your Monday?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Getting back to Healthy

 

I think every new momma has one of the same goals: to lose the baby weight! I'm no different, that is certainly on the top of my to-do list. Thankfully I only gained 20 lbs during this pregnancy (and almost 10 of it was all baby!!) but I would like to lose the the baby weight and then some considering I never lost all of the baby weight the first time.

 

I've always been active, so getting back into the groove of working out will not be the problem. I've already started walking and pre-planning all the awesome workouts I want to try once the doctor says "go for it" at my 6-week checkup. My husband recently became a certified crossfit instructor, so once I do get the okay, I'm going to test those waters... I think I'm really going to need my weekly yoga class to recover from those workouts.. they can be pretty intense. That's good though right?

 

Anyway, here's the real problem. My eating. I love food, and I really love junk food. As much as I try to eat healthy, I can never deny a cupcake or piece of candy. It's awful, I know. And I know some pretty good bakers, plus I love to bake myself, making things twice as hard.

 

But, I am on a mission!

 

I will eat healthy!

...99% of the time. Hey a girl's gotta cheat once in a while, right?

 

I will stick to my workouts.

 

I will feel good about myself.

 

Doing all of the above will make me a better mother/wife/person.

 

 

 

Here are some of my healthy eats this week!! All delicious and super easy to make!

 

 

Chicken Stir-Fry Breakfast

 

People have been bringing us dinner all week to welcome Baby Ronin and this was a great way to use the leftover chicken from dinner the night before!

 

 

Cheesy Quinoa Bites

 

These make for such a good snack, only 130 calories in four bites!

I liked them better when they were cold.

 

 

 

I'd love to swap some healthy recipes!

What are some of your faves?

 

 

 

Zukeran Egg shop and Mini Zoo

Okay, So I'm not even sure this qualifies as a "mini zoo," but we'll go with that. Keegan and I headed to the Zukeran egg shop and mini zoo this week with our playgroup friends. It's small and pretty much a hole in the wall with animals, but the kids loved it and they burned quite a bit of energy running around to see everything.

If you're in Okinawa, the egg shop is located on the 16, just off the 329.

Here are some of the animals held here...

...I'm pretty sure none of them should be living in sub-tropical Japan.

Yes, that is a Kangaroo..

This sign was posted outside of a monkey cage, I'm pretty sure he bites!

The Japanese are famous for the way they just throw things together. This is the playground, which has obviously suffered a few typhoons, though is surprisingly still standing. The kids happened to find it, as much as we tried to stay out of sight, we didn't let them play here very long.

And here's the real reason anyone should ever go to this place...

No, no I was not talking about the eggs.. those.. down there!

CREAM PUFFS!

They are seriously so delicious and only 150 yen!!! Plus they box them up nice and pretty and send them home with an ice pack. I love all the little touches the Japanese add, it always makes my day.

Okay so I also bought some eggs. I had to try them, fresh and local!

And they were only 320 yen for the bucket!

Keegan scored some custard/pudding/flan type dish. Also delish!

It was a fun day, I'm really loving all the group adventures we've been going on lately!