New life; New Beginnings

It's been a few weeks since I've last posted. I didn't plan on taking that break, though I realize how much I needed it. 

When we were last here, I told you about my doctor's appointment and the diagnosis that did not surprise me, but I didn't want to hear. The outpouring of support following that post was beyond my expectations. So, thank you all for your supportive and encouraging words.

Like these chicks that have hatched outside my front door, I feel like I have been given new life. For the first time I feel like I can see clearly, and breathe freely. I don't feel blanketed by my own lies or desire to hide. And this is just the beginning. 

Chickies need their food and my new life, still in it's infancy, is no different. 

Enter God. 

I think we've discussed before that I have always believe, but my walk with Jesus has been staggering. Shortly after leaving my doctor's appointment, I prayed to God. A real rarity in my life, because .. well, I just never knew how. But I did, alone, in my car. Just me asking for a little bit of help. 

And being that Prayer is such a rarity in my life, I wasn't all too certain that it would be heard. But I had no where else to go and it was worth a shot. 

There was no rolling thunder. No instant flashing of lighting or horrendous rains falling from the heavens. No rainbows or butterflies subtly landing on my hand. There was no immediate sign. Nothing.   

And then that week a friend of mine from Church asked us to join her community group. We recently became members of our church and since this whole church thing was fairly new to us, we had yet to be plugged into a community group - something I had been wanting to do. Perfect. 

I had no idea how truly perfect it was. 

My friend dropped of the workbook for the bible study they were doing and when I opened it later that night I was almost in shock. I flipped through the pages and was near tears.

God really heard me. 

And he really answered.

The bible study our community group was starting was "The Power of the Praying Woman" - all about overcoming past obstacles, traumatic events, anxiety, depression, learning to forgive, and trust in God.

Hello? The pages we're practically screaming at me! 

I'm only two weeks into the study and I feel a change happening in my life already.

 I know have a long long road ahead of me but finally there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature;

 the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 

2 Corinthians 5:17

Overcoming Mental Illness, Step One: Admission.

Depression...

...That's what it looks like.

What? Not what you pictured? 

Are you surprised?

That's me. 

This is me. 

I have suffered from depression for over a decade and I have worked my little butt off to cover it up every single day of my life! 

Today, has been a very emotional day for me. Today I have admitted to one of my toughest life battles yet and I did it on accident. I went to the clinic today for chest pain I was having this morning. It has happened about 10 times in the last 6 months and though I've discussed it with my docs before, nothing has ever come of it. Today it was worse than ever before, really.. I thought I was dying - think heart attack dying- , and I went straight to see the nurse. Calm as can be, she told me she was pretty certain I was having anxiety attacks. I immediately started crying because I knew. 

I knew. 

I was in denial and the jig was up!

We did an EKG (just to be sure I really wasn't having a heart attack) and then the doc and I discussed anxiety, depression, and various other mental illnesses. Though this was not the first time a doctor has told me I suffer from depression, it was the first time I've ever admitted such things to anyone other than my husband. It was scary and yet so liberating. I cried the entire time.

See, I've always known that I've suffered from some form of depression, anxiety, and probably a few other things but I've been in denial. Because I don't want to be crazy! And I've spent a ridiculous amount of time hiding from all of my thoughts and fears, exhausting myself to cover them up. I've been lying to everyone and most importantly myself. 

Not only have I been denying a serious illness, I've been depriving myself of help that I seriously need.

All because I don't want to be crazy.  

See what labels do. 

I debated on whether or not to write this post, because.. well, I was ashamed. 

Ashamed for being depressed in the first place. Ashamed that I've been lying about it. 

Ashamed that I am not the person I want be. Ashamed that I am not the person others want me to be.

But, I've realized that this IS me. And all I can do is make improvements. So, here I am.. Improving.

The road to peace starts today. 

We discussed many possible treatments and for now I've opted out of medications. 

Soon I will see a psych and for now I've got these pretty little things.

Leave in acupuncture. 

I know.. I feel like a total badass with these babies.

For those of you who have never suffered from a mental illness, I don't expect you to understand. The concept that one would have to battle their own mind is a hard one to grasp. I do however, want you to know that mental illnesses of all forms are very real. And sometimes, such as with my anxiety, they can cause physical pain. Depression is more than just sadness.  It's not something that can be changed with the snap of your fingers. Though I want to be truly happy and work hard to be there, it isn't as simple as mind over matter. There are many walls that I need to tear down before I can get there. 

I plan to continue posting on this topic as I journey on the road to peace and self acceptance. 

I would like to delve into all the things that my mental illness has lead me to such as bouts of anorexia and binge eating, drug use and times of alcohol abuse. Yes.. I know you're surprised. You should be, I've worked so hard to hide all of these shameful things in my life. 

I also want to tackle the traumatic events that have helped fuel the fire of depression and anxiety. 

And someday, I will be able to really breathe again. 

I'm not proud, but the journey starts here. 

Today is a new beginning.

Marriage and my Husband

Sometimes, I get in this weird mood where I feel the need to write something but I just don't know what  something is. And then I pretend I'm doing something on the internet for an excuse to touch the keyboard as if my fingers will get some sort of magical inspiration from. 

They don't. 

...Ever. 

But sometimes while I sit here pretending, my mind wanders to just the right place. And tonight, it keeps taking me back to my husband. Or to him, rather. 

Not to be all mush-mush but I love him so stinkin' much. 

There are people that are probably under the impression that my marriage is a fairy tale. It's been stated. And while I am super happy and love is overwhelming and very much mutual in our home, my marriage is no fairytale. 

I'm here to tell you that marriage is HARD work!

 It means biting my tongue way more than I want because I've learned to choose my battles wisely. 

It means sacrificing many things near and dear to me because we operate as a team now. 

It means loving NO MATTER WHAT. 

Sometimes my husband makes me incredibly mad! (like claiming that he doesn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day - and apparently anniversaries - only after we got married).

 There are days that I get so worked up just thinking about how mad he makes me. Seriously, I get furious sometimes - but I've realized that I almost always get furious when he's not around. He could be at work, outside, in another room or most likely, sleeping. And I just get so mad thinking about whatever the latest and greatest is that he's done or said.. or the lack of either.

 But I love him. And no matter how mad I get, whenever he comes back or wakes up the anger usually fades. If it doesn't, please believe that I just go ahead and speak my mind. Though I'm not really as intimidating as my overly-confident statements make me sound. But guess what?! My husband loves me too, and so when I speak my mind.. he listens. He doesn't always agree and the problem is never fixed over night, but we don't stay angry. We work on things.. Together. We talk.. A lot. and if things aren't right.. we keep trying. Because we made a promise.. until death do us part. And that's one promise I intend to keep.

P.S. I confessed my anger about him not believing in celebration on V-day, because well I believe in small gestures - I got "I'm sorry" flowers the next day. Though that was NOT the point I was making... A simple "good morning, I love you" text or hand made card would have sufficed, but I do love my flowers =)

And for those of you who cry (like my husband) that Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday and love should be shown every day, you don't need an excuse to do so yada yada yada... You're right, it probably is. But ask yourself this, when is the last time you brought your significant other flowers for no reason. Or made him/her a card just to say I love you.  Or did any number of the things you did while you were dating. You get married, you have kids,  you become more parent than you are a couple. Don't think of it as an excuse, think of it as a reminder. That you need that time too.  And if you really do do those things on the daily and aren't just using that as an excuse to get out of celebrating, then I bet you already had a bangin' dinner planned anyway =) 

Vagina... yep, I just said that.

Vagina.

Vagina.

Vagina.

Feeling uncomfortable yet? Seriously though, why is that word so taboo? It's not like I used the "p" word or the awful "c" word. I said vagina. That's politically correct, I think. 

Maybe you're not used to talking about your vagina, and if that's you, just x out now. 

Because we're about to talk about vaginas. I have one. Cool, right? I've had it my whole life and yet I feel like there is so much I don't know about it. Why does it have to so mysterious?! I'm guessing because in America it is just so inappopriate to discuss anything related to intercourse.. i.e. the penis and vagina, since they go hand in hand in the act. Though various other provocative things are not inappropriate? Yes, I think it's backwards. 

Seriously though, I had a procedure done today to take biopsies of my vagina and cervix and there was a young corpsman present along with the doctor. This corpsman was so awkward the entire time. He couldn't look at me, probably for fear of seeing a vagina.. but his tone of voice when he had to actually use the word and talk about it was slightly uncomfortable... and that's his profession!!

Maybe I'm just overly under-modest  but I do not get it.

and that's my rant.

For Tiffany.

As I sat in church this week, I listened to our Pastor talk about loving one another. 

In fact, Jesus commanded that we love one another.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

John 13:34

Meet Tiffany.

My best friend.

The only person who has ever loved me as Jesus did.
Who has never judged me in all my mistakes.

We met in Kindergarten. And on her first day of school, we had a tornado drill. 

She cried & I turned around and said "Don't worry, it's just a drill!" 

And we've been friends ever since. 

But I haven't always been a good friend. In fact, there were times when I was a pretty awful and absent friend. And through it all, she's been there. waiting for me to get my act together. Shaking her head, telling me I'm wrong, and being stupid. And loving me anyway. And showing me that God loves me. 

See, I never knew God. Until I got to high school, and even then I didn't really know him. 

I didn't know I needed him or wanted him, or that he could make my life so much better.

So I used other things to fill the voids. In high school it was all about fitting in.

 Looking cool. Keeping up. 

Alcohol. Sex. Drugs. Boys. Mischief. 

I remember sitting in an assembly once and I turned to a friend on one side of me and said, "watch this".. then every time Tiffany would start to talk I made a loud noise or said shut-up or be quiet and pretended to be really mad at her. She got upset and we laughed about it.  

I used to say some pretty awful things, because I thought I was being honest and that's the best policy right? No... you're opinion is never honesty or truth, it's your opinion and more often than not, it needs to be kept to yourself. Especially if you're a teenage girl in high school.

I can't believe I'm owning up to these because it makes me so sick to think about. 

I was really a mean girl. 

And it's funny because I'm not sure many people would remember that about me except my close friends... because they're the ones I hurt the most. 

Have you been there?

 I'd like to say I wish I hadn't but now I know how much of me has grown from there. But, I'm not at all proud and sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach.

I was an awful person. An awful friend.

To many good people, and good friends.

But mostly to Tiffany. 

Because it was easy. 

Because she loved me like Jesus loved me. Because no matter what I did or said, she was still a good friend to me. She never walked away, she never left me out to dry. She gave me a million and one second chances to be a better friend.

So, to you Tiffany, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for giving me a million and one second chances.

Thank you for giving me shelter when I had no where to go (literally!).

Thank you for being there for me whenever I have fallen.

Thank you for reminding me of lighter things when all I could see was darkness.

Thank you for being there when I found Jesus.

Thank you for reminding me that he is always there whenever I have forgotten. 

Thank you for putting up with me.
Thank you for all the nights and days like these filled with so many laughs and tears.

Thank you for being the most caring, loving, self-less, & giving person I have ever known. 

Please don't ever forget how amazing you are and know that you have impacted my life a thousand times over. 

I love you.

Coming Soon: Dear Ash

Hopefully, you saw my Facebook post earlier this week with the following message:

I've LOVED "Dear Abby" ever since I was little! Although her column still lives on in her Daughter's hands, the original Dear Abby, aka Pauline Phillips, passed away last week =( RIP

She was witty and wise all at the same time!

Sooooo, I'm super excited to announce... As a Tribute to one of my writing idols, I will be starting a Friday night series, "Dear Ash" !!!!!

I'll obviously need your help, so please send me all your questions, curiosities, and life wonders! Let's see what we can tackle!

Please message or e-mail: laugh_with_ash@yahoo.com

I am soooooo beyond excited about this. And I know what you're thinking.. What business do I - a 20-something, relatively un-exeperienced mother and wife- have writing an advice column? Probably no business at all. But I'm here, with two good ears for listening, eyes for reading, and hands for typing. My mind is clear and my opinion is unbiased, as I have never met you. I have three passions in life: writing, helping others, and laughing.. so it seems to me that they just all go hand-in-hand on this one.  

I'm not promising to give you the best worldly and wise advice, and I'm not promising to answer ALL your questions. I'm just promising to put my whole heart into this and have a little bit of fun writing and responding to whatever matters are on your heart. I hope you'll help me get started so we can go live next week. 

So Please, seriously.. send me your questions.
Help a girl out!

If all goes well, Dear Ash will become a Friday night mainstay on this blog.

"Dear Abby: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Navy: Simple. Go to your superior officer and say these 2 words: I'm Gay."

(Not so much anymore! But still made me laugh =) ) 

What Others Think..

How much do you care about what others think?
I used to think I cared a lot.

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I thought. 

Wrong. 

Pre-mommy era, I used to get all dazzled and fuss with my hair and make-up. I would throw countless outfits on the ground after trying and re-trying them on trying to find a perfect match. And when that didn't work out, I would drain my bank account at the mall on something that worked.

And why?

Because I had to fit in ...Because that's what was "in"...Because if I didn't, who would be my friend. ha.

...Because what would they say about me if my hair was messy, or my clothes were sooo 2005?!

...Because I didn't want to be judged.

And then reality hit me one day. 

I am the judge.

 I am the Mean Girl that I spent hours getting ready for. 

I am the girl that criticized and laughed when my outfits didn't match or fit just right. 

Me. I did that. 

Not because I cared about what anyone else was thinking of me, but because I cared about what I was thinking of me.

Please don't read this wrong. I did all those things for me.
 For my thoughts and opinions. For my self-esteem.
It never mattered what anyone else thought. What mattered is what I thought, which turns out to be exactly what I thought they were thinking ... tracking?

If you're worried about your hair looking a hot mess and everyone chatting about how a bird could lay an egg up there.. it's probably because
1. Your hair really looks like that,
2. You know you're hair looks like that
3. You hate that your hair looks like that!

Really, no one gives a donkey's behind about your messy hair, you do.
And you should.

Now I'm not saying you need to primp and style everyday and I'm not even saying you can't have messy hair, hell sometimes i think my messy hair is sexy and I do it on purpose.
I'm saying, you should be comfortable with however you do your hair/make-up/outfit etc.
You should feel good about yourself.

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It's important that I am my own critic and that I set standards and expectations for myself.
(Even if that means establishing "nice" yoga pants and "bum" pants...
yes, one for the public, one for home)
They keep me sane, motivated and happy with myself.
But they're mine, for me and nobody else.

So for those of you still worrying, here is my piece of advice.
Be comfortable. Be who you want to be. Don't stop being your own critic.
And don't be anyone else's critic.

Cry Now, Laugh later.

And that's just what I did.

Have you ever had cramps, or sore muscles or some unexplained pain anywhere on your body...

...And then looked it up on WebMD?

That's me. EVERY time. 

So the latest was cramping and low back pain- but it wasn't that time of the month. So what gives?

Cervical Cancer.

I was convinced.

Just so you don't think I'm completely loony, my grandmother passed away (before I ever met her) from  cervical cancer and my mother had a hysterectomy in her 30's to remove the tumors. and I had a slightly irregular pap right after Ronin, though Doc says that's fairly common in young women and during pregnancy as the immune system is low.

So, with my two symptoms, I was convinced. And I went to the doctor, totally ready for him to tell me I was dying or that I'd need surgery or chemo or whatever else.

And so as soon as he walked in, before he could even ask me what I was seeing him for, I burst into tears! 

Yes, just flat out sobbing. Embarrassing.

So my Doc, being the kind patient man that he is, says "Whoa, what's up?"

And I could barely squeeze out that I was just scared.

And it went like this:

Doc: (slight smirk on his face) Have you been reading WebMD?

Me: (Nod - Still sobbing)

Doc: And you think you have Cervical Cancer?

Me: (Sob Harder)

Doc: (Laughs)

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Yeah... only a little embarrassing. How did he know me so well?!

Probably TMI but to drive the point home:

We chatted and he did some blood work and a urine sample.. Mild UTI. 

Ha. 

HaHa. 

I can only laugh now that it's over. 

And I'll probably have to hide my face from my doctor for a while.

Please tell me I'm not the only one!!!

Overcoming Fear.

Fear. 

I often like to believe that I am fearless, but I know just how much of my life is consumed with it. And as hard as it is to live by sometimes, I also know that I should have no fears as my faith in God should overpower them. 

Last night at my bi-monthly MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers!) meeting, we talked about fear and how it has consumed people in our country in the wake of the Sandy Hook shootings. How so many have said that they will now homeschool their children, or never go to a mall, or a movie theater? How they will put their life on hold because of this tragedy. 

Because where was God? 

What about the Gun gun control?

There are so many questions, and I can't say that I or anyone has all the right answers, but I do know that we ought to not be afraid to live our lives. There is no way of knowing what will happen during our days or when our last one will come. Just keep faith in God and know that he has a plan for all of us, whether we are here on earth for 6 years or 106, he has a divine plan. Trust it. 

Please, know in your heart that no matter how devastating and tragic were last weeks events, good will prevail. In some way, big or small.. the good will prevail.

There is no need to live in fear of the unknown. We have no control. 

Do not let Fear dictate your life and rob you of a chance to live a fulfilling life.

I didn't think I needed to hear these words, but I did.

Not even because of last weeks events, but because of the countless other things that I am afraid of. 

Because I am a mother.

And most of my days are spent being paranoid about my babies.

Because when my babies are sleeping I check on them several times to make sure they are still breathing.

And when I'm showering, I pop my head out 5 or 6 times because I swear I just heard one of them crying.

I keep them close because I am afraid to lose them. 

Often I don't let my oldest engage in activities that would benefit him because in some way I am afraid for him.

I need to stop letting fear consume my thoughts and my life.

Just live. 

Compassionately.

& Fully. 

Do not be afraid.

God will lead the way, Trust him.

Revamping things.

If you've been following, then you know that I've been a little MIA lately and have been trouble coming out of the blogging slumps.

It's rough.

So last night I had this great idea to buy a book because reading inspires writing, right?

Well, it does for me anyway.

Usually I'd go for a romance novel, or a "schmuck" book as my brother-in-law has dubbed them. I used to swear I'd never read them, but my sister-in-law totally corrupted me on a camping trip a few years ago.

So, I went to find one.

When I got to the book store, I instead found myself drawn to the business and finance section... that was a first. 

And I found this marvel:

MOM, INC. The Essential Guide to Running a Successful Business From Home

image via

I haven't even had the book for 24 hours and I already know it's going to be one of my most used purchases. It encompasses everything for the home-based mom.

(and let's not forget that I'll be a SAHM again in T-minus 9 days!!!)

There's an entire chapter on blogging.

 I so wish I would have bought this when I first started blogging.

What jumped at me was that my blog needed purpose.

When I started blogging in August, I did have a purpose, but it wasn't clearly defined.

I was not clearly defined.

Since I've joined the blogosphere, I have lost sight of what my blog means to me.

I've posted so much on mommy-hood, my babies, and our day to day because that's what was easy.

Because it was easy to participate in Mommy link-ups,

and it was easy to find mommy readers.

But that's not what I wanted my blog for.

I love my kids, no doubt about it.

But I need a space for myself.

To be me, outside of being a mommy.

So, from here on out, there will be some changes around here.

You may still see posts about my adorably awesome boys, but they won't be in every single one.

I'm here to find the funnies in life.

To share my thoughts and ideas.

To try to make sense of all this nonsense.

(Though I know it will never make sense.)

Here goes nothing.

To celebrate new beginnings,

head over to my sponsor page to grab yourself some free ad space for the next 30 days!

ANY SIZE

Offer is good until all ads are spoken for.

Use the following PROMO Codes.

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Enjoy.

A Bloggy Rut. HELP!

Seriously, what do you do when you get in a blogging rut?

When you haven't posted anything in two weeks and you keep telling yourself,

"Tonight, I promise!" and later.. "I swear I'll get to it tomorrow!"

 

 ...because that's where I'm at. And it's not that I don't have anything to write about, ideas dance around my head all day long. It's just finding the time. If I'm not eating sleeping, at work or chasing one of the babies, I'm overly exhausted and just want to go back to sleep..

 

So how do you prioritize? When is blogging more important than sleep, or other things?

How do you make up for the lack of blogging you've been doing?

 

AHHHAAAHHRRRGH!! That's about how I feel about that.

The good news is...

 

I put in my two weeks notice at work!!!

 

And I am just so overly excited about being a stay at home mom again!

So hopefully I will not only have more time with my family, but for my blog and other things I enjoy too!

 

Looking forward to it, and figuring this Bloggy MIA thing out in the meantime.

Thanks for being so patient.

 

 

To feel important.

 

 

Lately, I have been having those days.Those days where nothing goes right, the kids are screaming, the house is a wreck, and my husband won't be home for another few hours.And most of the time, while I'm juggling five or six tasks at hand and trying keep my sanity and composure intact, I can't help but feel small.

 

And unimportant.

And that although I have many things to do, they're not important.

 

And then I think, if only..

 

If only I could finish college.

If only I had stayed in the military.

If only I could find a job that wasn't bottom of the ladder.

If only...

 

Because then I might feel important. And then my husband will know that I am important.

That what I do matters. That I am making a difference.

 

I feel that way sometimes. And sometimes I desperately say things fishing for some kind of verbal confirmation that my thoughts are wrong. That I shouldn't think if only, because what I do IS important.

 

My husband is most often caught in direct fire of those desperate pleas and being the ever so stubborn and quick man that he is, he often catches on to the fact that I'm looking for him to tell me something and of course then refuses. Because he's stubborn.

 

And I get mad, because I know he does this and damnit, can he just tell me I'm important?

But the truth is, even though there are moments where I feel small, overwhelmed and as if my daily tasks do not matter, I know that is false.

I am a Mother and a Wife. I work full time. I go to school and I have my own business. I am a military spouse. I am expected to move every few years and start all over. And I do. I am resiliant. I have my days, but they make me stronger. Because there's never been a day that I haven't made it through. With everything that has been thrown at me, no matter how overwhelmed I have become,  or how negative my thoughts have been, I have not given up. I am here, still mothering and still married. Still working, still going to school. Still moving.

 

I am important. & whatever I do, matters.

To someone.

 

My children need me.

It is important that I feed them, change them.

Nuture them, and teach them.

I make a difference to them.

Within them.

& For them.

They need me.

 

My husband, stubborn as he may be, needs me.

It is important that I stay strong and resiliant.

He is a Marine, and that's his job.

But I am his wife, and he needs me.

He needs me to be patient, and to listen.

To hear his fears and join in his excitement.

To say, "We can do this!"

He needs me to take care of things while he is away.

To raise our children as they should be.

I make a difference to him.

He needs me.

 

And I know that those are true, even on days when I feel otherwise.

 

 

 

Please know, that even when your child is naked, screaming, and running rampant while you attempt to cook and clean with the other on your hip...

 what you are doing is not worthless.

 You are not worthless.

 You do matter.

And what you are doing matters.

 

Because you are a woman.

You are a mother.

You are a wife.

And whether you're just one of those, or all three, you are important.

And whatever we do...

...big or small.

It matters.

To someone.

 

 

 

Trying to Hate You.

 

 

 

Dear Husband,

 

I try really hard, you know.

And I'm not talking about keeping up with the boys and all the housework...

and school, and work, and my blog.

I try really hard with all that too, but that's not what I'm talking about.

 

I'm telling you I try really hard to hate you.

 

Because I hate that you work ten times as much as you don't.

I hate that I have to sleep alone, more than half the month... every month.

And I hate that that means I have to wake up alone, more than half the month.. every month.

 

Because I hate that when you're running late or get caught up at work, you don't call or text.

I worry, you know. And I hate that when I finally call you, you act like it's no big deal.

 

Because I hate that you don't notice the little things like my new shirt or the way I extra super deep-cleaned the house.  

 

Because I really do hate the way you think you know me so well. I hate when I'm excited to tell you something and you finish the sentence or story.

 

Because I hate your lack of planning. And I hate that even when there is a plan,  you're always late so it never happens, unless of course it's your plans.

 

And Because I really really hate that no matter how hard I try, no matter what angry lunatic speeches I have planned for you, the second you walk in the door I fall in love all over again and it's as if nothing happened.. unti you're gone again.

 

I hate it, I really do.

 

xo, Your Loving Wife

 

 

 

 



 

 

Me, Myself and I: October.

 

 

 

1. What is your favorite Season? Explain.

 

I love fall, though I haven't really seen it in four years.. but I think I've said that before. I think I'll make it a point to head home during fall next year.

 

2. Talk about a moment that changed your life.

 

I was just thinking about this yesterday, wierd. Anyway, the actual moment didn't change my life until much later when I was reflecting on it.

 

I was in a car accident when I was 16, I was in the passenger seat.

We made a left turn and were hit by an oncoming car. I wasn't wearin my seatbelt and flew into the winsheld.

 

The airbag saved my life.

 

I make hat connection until much later. I don't remember much of the actualy accident, it happened so fast. I just remember getting out of the car in the middle of a busy intersection and not being able to hear a thing. Later when we looked at the car, I saw where my head had hit the windshield and nearly shattered the glass, leaving a spiderweb affect. Had the airbag deployed seconds later or not at all, I would not be here today. It was the moment I realized that, that my life changed. I am so much more aware and appreciative of the little things.

 

3. If you could be any crayola Crayon Color what would it be?

Outrageous Orange

 

a. it's my favorite color, orange that is.

b. How fun is the name?

c. I like to think I'm outrageous.

 

4. Describe yourself as a superhero: Superpower? Name? Sidekick?

oooh....

 

Kero, the great!

Superpower: To fly.. faster than the speed of sound.

 

Sidekick: A sneaky monkey, like this one:

 

5. If you had all the money in the world and could only shop at three stores, where would you shop?

 

Target, Amazon, Macy's.

(Can you tell that I've been stuck on an island and had to shop online for the past few years??!!)

 

 

 

 



Liebster Blog Award

I've been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award!

 

 

How Fun!!

And thank you to Lanaya, from Raising Reagan, for the nomination!

 

The Liebster award is given by bloggers to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

What is a Liebster?

 The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

Here are the rules for receiving this award:
1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the nominator set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve nominated to answer.
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. No tag backs!

 

So, 11 things about me...

 

1. I am incrdibly stubborn and independent, and I will go out of my way to be such.

 

2. I have an awful nail biting habit.

 

3. I truly believe laughter is the best remedy.

 

4. I grew up with my dad, and thus have struggled at being a domesticated housewife.

 

5. Because of #'s 1 and 4, I have a full time job (though I'm currently on Maternity Leave).

 

6. When I met my husband, he was just too short for my standards.

 

7. I live on a tiny island nestled between the Pacific and East China Sea.

Okinawa, Japan

 

 

8. I love wine.

 

9. I am from the great state of OHIO!

 

10. My husband is from Michigan, but we met in Texas. That's a story for another day.

 

11. I am terrified of the dark.

 

 

Lanaya asked me the following questions...

 

What is your favorite food?

I love pastas, even if that are a carb-attack.

Name one thing you do that is unusual…

I have to wash my dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.

Who was your childhood hero…and is it still the same person?

I'm not sure if I had a childhood hero and I guess I've never really thought about who my hero is today. I guess that says something though if it doesn't automatically spring to mind, right?

What was your favorite book as a kid?

Ruby Holler by Sharon Creech. And I stll have a copy.

Would you rather watch TV or read a book?

Honestly, I keep my TV on most of the day because I like white noise, but I hardly watch it. I would much rather read a book... but finding the quiet time to do it is sooo hard!

Where is your ideal place to live?

Sunny all year round... Okinawa would be perfect if they could get rid of typhoons and add a Target!

What is your favorite holiday?

I should say Christmas, but I really love Halloween. It's the one we always go all out for.

If you could have one day to do anything, what would it be?

Oooh, I think I'd have a long to do list. I'd really like to skydive though.

Which chore would you rather do…clean house, do laundry or go grocery shopping?

Grocery shopping. Unless I could do laundry without having to fold it.

Did you think you would have children when you “planned” out your life?

I didn't plan on getting married or having children at all. my life is nothing like what I had "planned" for myself. Turns out God is a much better planner though =)

What do you look forward to most about fall?

I haven't seen "fall" since 2008. I moved to Southern California, and then Okinawa, so it's been mostly summer for me since then. What I miss most is the changing and falling of the leaves and fall festivals!

 

I've Nominated the Following Ridiculously Awesome Blogs for this Award.

In No Particular Order...

1. Courtney at Chase All Your Dreams

2. Christine at Hooah and Highchairs

3. Stefani at Miss Jo and Co.

4. Kera at Nugget on a Budget

5. Chelsea at Life Unpublished

6. Leslie at Sincerely, Leslie

7. Roni at The Home Payge

8. The Nickels Family at Our Five Cents

9. Brittany at The Denny Buzz

10. Megan at The Mrs.

11. Kate at Still Room to Grow

 

 

The questions I want them to Answer are:

1. When and Why did you start Blogging?

2. If you could be anything else, what would you be?

3. You just won a million dollars, what are you going to do?

4. Whenever I was upset, I used to go to "my spot" by the river in my hometown, do you have a safeplace like this for moments like those?

5. What's your guilty pleasure?

6. What is your favorite food to cook? and to eat?

7. How did you find some of your favorite blogs?

8. Do your friends and family support your blogging habit? Do they Follow?

9. Your biggest fear?

10. Your proudest moment?

11. What is your favorite post you ever wrote?


Have fun!!!


Can't wait to read everyones!